Moving

No sooner did I get back than I had to start the process of packing. Since I moved to NYC 8 1/2 years ago (and it doesn't seem that long), I've had to downsize with each move. Funnily enough, when I was in Madison, Houston and Pittsburgh, it always seemed like I didn't have enough stuff. I left most of my furniture on the street in Pittsburgh the night before I moved (and, to my amusement, one piece was taken then returned, leaving telltale marks in the snow). Each move has required me to downsize further, although my wardrobe and book/dvd/magazine/research materials have grown. Still, I have to get rid of more now. Books are effectively sacrosanct. I wish I could jettison all paper but in there are immigration, tax, teaching evaluations and all manner of things that can't be thrown out but take up my precious little available storage. Every time I move, I have to shuffle through old letters and photos which only remind me how fast time passes and makes me regret that I couldn't have made better use of my life (also seeing how I look back then makes me feel old and faded).

Today, I've spent an hour already going through my closets. Not just for clothing to pack or throw out, but uncovering boxes of files that, alas, I have to keep. I'm now looking at items of clothing with nostalgic value. Do I pitch them (even if those old size 4s still curiously fit) or keep them? I've thrown out discolored tshirts and sheets that attract cat fur, but what to do with those clothes that are still viable but don't set my heart aflame? I'm already starting another bag for the Salvation army--Rogan jeans, Velvet jersey dresses and topshop blouses that are still good (way too good for the trash) but I know I won't wear them. I'm putting a ton of shoes on ebay or maybe I'll post them here--Marc Jacobs collection heels I never wore (and in both cases, never left the box), Prada shoes, Miu Miu--all things I forgot I owned, never wore and never will. All size 40, all on the small side--really more 39s. All legacies of my wishful thinking, my desire to wear shoes that really were too small for me.