Back to the Grind

With school out for the Jewish holidays, last week seemed full of promise. I was planning to work hard, see Stereolab, and work my way down my list of things to do. As it turned out, Remy was sick, Evan was stressed and the big scary unknowns in my life loomed larger than ever. Capping the stress of last week, a job was advertised at NYU, in the department of my dreams. Having worked there with some success, I had always hoped that the next job to be posted would be something in my area. I was therefore stunned to see that there was a job--nobody in the department had mentioned that this was even in the pipeline--and that it was not really in my area. Dream 1 crashed. I have also been trying to get pregnant for some time and this month it was clear something was not right. So my other big dream seems to be collapsing around me.

So, rather than crush myself under all of this, I decided to work on the book as that is all I can control. I thought that the chapter I was going to rewrite needed minimal work. I was wrong. That said, I think I can see how to pull it together.

So the vow for this week is to stay centered on the book. I am going to try to keep jobs and babies out of my mind (not so easy, granted. I have to go into work and babies are alas everywhere--that is, everywhere except in my life).