Adrift

I don't know if it's this interminably long winter, but I'm lost as to what to wear these days. My body isn't at an optimal weight or shape for the clothing I'd like, I don't have the time to shop (not that I really mind too much) and I am not even sure where to shop right now. I know I'd like to have some nice new cashmere sweaters but anything I really like I can't afford (and if it hasn't been reduced now, it's not happening). With near continuous snow and/or cold, I've rotated through the same jeans/trousers/sweaters or leggings/skirts combinations.

I'm even revisiting the items I wore when pregnant, partly because they are warm and forgiving on a figure that's more lumpen than I'd like--but partly, I believe, because I'm nostalgic for those days and yearning for another pregnancy, another baby. It's almost like I want to get back into that skin again.

I'm also sadly aware that I may not look good in the pieces I like. Whether it's simple, pared down winter wear or pretty dresses, I've got used to a disappointing reflection that reveals the combination of sleep deprivation and very limited exercise. But it's increasingly dawning on me that I don't know what's out there, where to go or what to look for. While I've invested in a few pairs of Fiorentini + Baker boots, I'm either wearing too many cut rate bargains or pieces that are beginning to look old and worn. I'm at the point where it's just easier to shop Zara online and return what doesn't work, but I suppose I'm more aware that I jus don't have a clue what's out there apart from the fast fashion chains and the ready to wear collections that are out of my price range.