I'm coming up on my 6th month anniversary of being a mother and have been reflecting on some of the inevitable changes and adjustments. A year ago I was still in the throes of nausea, still debating baby girl names (believing that the sickness, heart rate and general intuition all pointed to this baby being a girl), worrying about test results and finding it hard to believe all this was happening. Now I accept and love being a mum, love my little baby boy, and love the family we've created, but I'm still adjusting to some of the changes. It's difficult, for example, to write papers when your baby needs you and he's not going to respect that this is your time to write: I have two conferences in a little over ten days and two very messy piles of reflections, notes, ideas that have yet to coalesce into papers.
It's nearly a year since I felt S. move for the first time--now I'm so familiar with his energetic kicks and aware of his frustrations that he cannot move yet as he's seeking to explore his world.
I'm finally adjusting to wearing breast feeding mum clothes. A couple of times I bought pretty silk dresses on sale (ICB online sample sale, I'm looking at you), but those are strictly for limited non-baby times (work receptions, conferences). Uniqlo has become a go-to store, with my Suno collaboration dress being ideal with its button front, stain masking pattern and relatively stain resistant machine washable cotton construction. I'm at peace with my options right now, and will be slightly sad when I'm no longer a primary food source and can get back to more stylish options. I even missed the Tocca sample sale this week, not because I didn't love the items but because I realised that there would be another one before I'd be able to wear any of my finds. I also suspected that most of the stock would be old, pre-Emma Fletcher, and thus not worth wasting time I could spend with my boy or work.
2 comments:
Hang in there, mama! I actually found your blog while looking for your academic work on single girls in popular culture for my diss (that I am editing with a looming defense date). And I am in a similar boat, myself. I am a first time mom in academia, with a 7 month old baby. When my diss is (finally) filed, I will return to read the archives but thank you for the moment of commiseration since motherhood and academia (and pregnancy!) can feel pretty isolating.
Thanks for writing--we are in such a similar boat. I'm overdue a post (and a review and some other writing) and will try to remedy that soon. THank you for your moment of commiseration!
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