Updates

On Tuesday, one of my students mentioned that the 2010s were really coming back in style. 

Of late, my mind has turned to this decade, one that changed my life (for the better) as I became a mother, found stable employment and settled into what is probably adult life. By happenstance, I found an image on Pinterest, clicked on the link, and, to my surprise, it took me back to this long-abandoned blog. From there, I traveled back in time, courtesy of my blogroll, to the lives of those who didn't close down their personal narratives from the late 2000s to early-middle 2010s. What surprised me? How much I have forgotten and how, yes, indeed, the 2010s are definitely coming back in style.

I have no illusions that anybody else will ever read this entry but I'm again taken with the idea of an online diary, with its musings on both everyday minutae and much bigger things in a world saturated with images. In an attention economy that tries too hard to hail (and commercialise) the public, there was something reflexive about a blog--a moment out of one's day that preserved quotidian rituals, questions, pleasures and stresses. While social media always has to work too hard, always in thrall to the desire to capitalise, monetise and brand, blogs represented a pause, a moment to communicate, preserve, ponder. I regret that I didn't jot down the many small moments that surrounded the big things in my life that this blog never witnessed, most notably the birth of my second son nearly 8 years ago on a dark snowy January night. I'll always remember the serenity of our first hours together, but I'm sure I've forgotten the kind of details and opinions I'd have preserved here--other than the taste of the orange jelly I ate after his birth. Brought to me by a kind nurse, it was the only thing they had to eat on the ward and it tasted delicious, becoming part of my reverie. Today, my dear boy is neither calm or serene but a bubbling energetic ball of joy, love, intelligence, laughter and cuddles. However, our first nights together were indeed a wonderful pause, transporting me to a calm where just the two of us existed under the long night skies, woven together in another dimension, if only for a few short days.

So now I have two boys. I'm happy at work, although there is always too much to do. I still love clothes which led to a detour where I now mainly teach fashion related courses. I'm working on a second book (not on fashion) and I'm trying my hardest to be fluent in French (truly fluent, native fluency which only seems to get further away the more you know). I still buy clothes but mainly resale these days for the environment, the bargains and for the fun (and frustration) of searching for some of those key pieces I missed and couldn't afford back in the day. I also feel I missed several years of style as I grew and nursed babies, leaving me no real time to shop for a body that was leaky and shape-shifting.

And, in a weird cyclic way, that's how I ended back here a few nights ago. Recently, I have been recaptured by my love for an old favourite. No, I was not looking for Mayle but for Lyell and Emma Fletcher's Tocca whose minimal 70s does 30s style seems as compelling as ever but even more difficult to find. I regret missing out on so many pieces for so little money on ebay and Poshmark, but fashion does, indeed, travel in waves. Plus there was the small matter of fit. A year or so ago, I bought one of her peacoats from 2005 whose name I long ago forgot. Even though it was a size 10, I knew it wouldn't fit but it was pristine and the price was right. I was also right about the size, but recently, I've lost over 30lbs so I can indeed wear it, along with many other such fripperies--that is if I can ever find the pieces I want. But I'm also trying to be strong. As I once stated in a post here, I can fall into the rabbit hole of brand obsession, So this time, I'm reminding myself. I'm not a collector and it's perfectly OK to say no, even to a defunct brand. Or a (once) defunct blog for that matter. 

End of another semester

I felt--and still feel--broken today. I alternate between wondering why this bothers me--why can't I be a person who thinks politics doesn't matter--and feeling fury at a variety of parties for the selfishness, stupidity, greed, short-termism or blindness that shaped their vote. While the vile Conservatives and their neo-con press baron pals like Murdoch are mostly to blame, I feel deep anger for the selfish and stupid conduct of the SNP, who cannot see that if they get what they want they will destroy all the British economies and services. They should have supported Labour to the hilt and steered them further left but instead they leave us with an evil, far right government.

But a bright spot emerged--a busy teaching and advising filled day that reminded me, yet again, how great our students are. Bright, hard working, creative, intelligent and full of integrity--I am so lucky to participate in their education and work with such wonderful young women and men. And this year as every year, I'm so proud to see them graduate but also sad to see them move on.

Betrayed

A couple of days ago, I finally thought that a Labour coalition would just squeeze in to form a government and was shocked by the exit poll that had to be wrong. I don't have much faith in the electorate--any electorate in the western world--blinded by spin, innuendo, negative campaigning, selfishness and ideologically suspect "common sense" easy solutions (like austerity which only serves the rich and costs more in long term human, economic and social costs). But the idiocy of my country's electorate stunned me, as did the selfishness of the idiotic Scottish nationalists who shot everybody in the foot to make a dated jingoistic point wrapped up in pseudo socialist rhetoric.

My only joy is seeing the Lib Dems wiped out and that monster Clegg resigning as their leader. Betraying the students and their voters on a never before seen scale, they deserve to rot in hell. I'd like to see an energised proper socialist Labour party (think Tony Benn, Aneurin Bevan and other such men of integrity--heroes of mine who crafted the worlds's best welfare state and did more for social mobility than any other party or force).But instead we'll see more consumerist policies, encouraging selfishness and blindness until yet another set of social institutions are rent asunder.

I'm heartbroken and livid and hope those people responsible for voting this lot of plutocrats back into power realise what they have done in time to correct course and send them to the political oblivion and the deepest circles of Dantean hell where they belong.

Carmelinas Shoes

I've neglected this blog for quite some time but never missed an entire month until April 2015--a mark of a busy life balancing work and motherhood. I'm going to write more frequent entries, but in the meantime, I wanted to share my new find--Carmelina's shoes.

I've been on the lookout for a new pair of shoes, sandals and boots for some time. After years of buying pretty shoes that I couldn't wear and kept in their boxes, I decided to be more careful and only buy shoes that I liked, were of decent quality and were comfortable (I can't be limping along or dealing with sore feet when I have a 35 lb toddler to carry or run after). I found a couple of brands that were comfortable and stylish only to have them either close down, change their lasts or produce styles that weren't to my liking or needs. My favourite Surface to Air strappy flats are from 2009-10 and while they have lasted really well, they are probably nearing the end of their life. If I could get another pair, or if they would remake them, I'd stock up in a shot, but that isn't happening. My Surface to Air sandals are also beginning to fall apart, leaving me with my F+B boots, which can't work with every outfit and for every occasion.

Last week, I opened a Moda Operandi email and saw this image--and was surprised to find these beauties were in my price range.

While they may not be the most practical pair, I pre-ordered the blue and pink ankle boots shown above. I could have ordered most pairs, but I don't know how they fit or feel. If they are as comfortable as they are pretty, these will be my default brand of pretty shoes for the time being.

While they have very limited ecommerce or retail presence at the moment, I found their website and also found these lovely strappy shoes on the left (now available in black suede). While they may not be the replacement for my beloved Surface to Air flats, I'm hoping they will be as comfortable and as central to my shoe life.

Montreal and after

One of the great things about conferences is seeing a new place, or a city that you barely know. I last went to Montreal over 15 years ago for a conference, liked it and hoped to see more. As I barely travel for pleasure, it took this long for me to return. Last time we were in a more eclectic neighbourhood, this time, downtown, so my memories seem to be of two entirely different cities, linked only by Rue St. Catherine, the city's high street shopping centre.

This time round, I didn't get to see so much but made it out to Lawrence in Mile End for dinner and while I saw some interesting boutiques, they were all closed. Given the cold, snow and hectic schedule, I ended up seeing more of the Underground City, which I didn't know about until this trip. While much of it consists of tunnels and mall shops, we did have a decent food court with a Second Cup (Canadian Starbucks but better) and a great bakery/sandwich/quiche place, Premiere Moisson, which also appears to be a chain but a really good one. Despite trying to avoid wheat, I couldn't resist their apricotines, pains au raison, quiche and chicken pie. Given that I'm seeing my endocrinologist today, I deserve the bad news I anticipate I'll be getting. That said, I can't get many pastries this good and buttery here and being back means it's easier to pass on naughty foods--it's almost impossible to avoid carbs when you are forced to rely on restaurants, have no cooking/storage facilities and are in a city you don't know in an area devoid of supermarkets or the likes of Whole Foods. And much as I wish I could be that person, I cannot survive on two salads a day, especially when pastries of that calibre are available and being eaten by everybody around.

I liked Montreal and would like to return in less than 15 years. I just wish conferences had a day off every other day so you could explore without missing work, panels, meetings, receptions, scholarly interest groups and those all important chance conversations in hallways.

The conference came after spring break which meant I spent mine writing the paper and finalising my revisions on an essay on D.W. Griffith (forthcoming in an anthology). Then the conference, now the aftermath--the work, grading and housekeeping that I put off or couldn't do because I was here. By the time I get through that it will be tax time. After a week of little sleep, I'm now entering into the busiest time of year. With the weather telling us it's still winter, it's luring us into thinking we have a little more time for all that still has to be accomplished this semester/academic year.

New buys

I'm trying to keep to a strict budget this year and only buy what's necessary. These two dresses were on further markdowns at Madewell and looked like they'd give me a great deal of use, especially for running around after a toddler. Both may be silk or silk blends (which I'm trying to avoid) but their dark colours will limit dry cleaning costs and their capacious cuts hide my still too lumpy postpartum body. I'm slowly getting back into my pre-Severin clothes but the cold and brutal winter has led to some enforced inactivity and too many Aeros and Cadbury Twirls, flakes and Dairy Milk (not that it's too much for some, but with my still high blood sugar, any carbs are too many carbs).

Super-cheap (I think I paid around $40) and with pockets, this dress not only flows well but could conceivably be layered up for the next few cold weeks. I'm assuming we'll have winter for at least another month, even though I like the knowledge that the decent weather is pending and all in front of us. It's the same feeling I have in late April about the summer holidays.

There's a story behind this one--Madewell discounted it to $99 from $158, then when they had a 30% off promo, it went back up to almost full price. I emailed them about it and got it for around $68. Great customer service and lovely print. My only issue is that I'd love pockets. It's a cotton-silk blend so I'm going to check the instructions to see if it can be washed. Unlike my Mum who assumes everything can be handwashed, I don't want to risk shrinkage. Mum is usually right (on this and all other matters), but when she is wrong she and I have ended up with much smaller, even doll sized, garments. I try telling myself that the reason I don't fit into some of my clothes now is because she washed them and they shrunk but I know that's unfortunately not the case.

Enough!

I may have my new boots, but I do not want to christen them in this weather. So far this week we've had two snowstorms, one on Tuesday that was substantial and messy but largely melted by Wednesday night even as the old black piles of melted and refrozen snow remained, the other today (Thursday) that dumped several inches of the stuff on us yet again. Every Friday this semester it's been frigid--I don't think we've got over freezing for the high but we have had consistently record cold and wind chill figures in the single digits or way less. My students are frustrated and annoyed (I teach on Fridays) and it looks like tomorrow will be no different.

I always think March is a frustratingly cold let down, but this is insane. Enough please! It's not only painful to go out, it's frustrating when you have an active toddler and he needs that room to play outside in the park or at the very least go out for a walk in his pushchair.

I'm looking forward to spring and want that sense of new life everywhere, not bud-less trees, grey skies and large patches of ice and dirty snow. I'd like a little more colour, a little more light and the chance to wear something other than my depth of winter garb.