Some Resolutions

Briefly and belatedly, I'm vowing to try the following this year.

Cut the carbs down to below 100g a day--or lower. With prediabetes a reality, I'm hoping I can still stave off the almost inevitable type 2 diagnosis (thank you, genes). If I can get rid of the extra chub I'm carrying thanks to my poor response to carbs, that's all the better.

Stop buying cheap items at Club Monaco and Zara just because they are on sale and look nice on the size zero model. I've not done this particularly often but it's a habit to curb, particularly if I ever want to replace my Fiorentini + Baker boots that cracked during my postpartum foot swelling last year. They rarely/never go on sale and aren't that cheap but I bet I have spent more on bargain postnatal clothes intended (and needed) for a short, messy time only.

Manage my time better so I can get that second sample chapter and third proposal in and hopefully secure that second and third book contract. I'm so often tired/sleep deprived or playing with my delightful 1 year old but there has to be good and as yet underutilised work time out there.

I've other hopes/plans/dreams for this year but they are somewhat more reliant on others/science/fate/luck whereas these resolutions are a little more under my control.

Happy New Year!

2013 may have been an exhausting year--and one that passed in the blink of an eye--but it was certainly memorable for us. Although Severin made his appearance just before 2013 started, this was really our first year of parenting (we didn't come home from the hospital until 2nd January). He's proven to be the most delightful little person we could have possibly imagined and parenting him (while often tiring, undoubtedly time consuming and sometimes perplexing) is an utter joy.

Balancing work and motherhood has not been easy--corners have been cut and my personal time has shrunk to next to nothing--but I managed to write a new article, finish another, write and present three conference papers and, of course, my book came out. Although the latter was completed in 2012, it was nice to see my two babies emerging into the world within one year.

It's hard to imagine any other year living up to this one in terms of momentous and much wanted changes but hopefully we'll strive for something remarkable in 2014. I would love another baby, another book but don't want to be too greedy.

Joan Fontaine

I've always loved Joan Fontaine and felt that maybe she'd be around forever, if for no other reason than to outlive her sister.

Much as I love both Fontaine and de Havilland, I always preferred the younger, seemingly more fragile and angular star. I share that seemingly distinctive western interest in sister stars and understand that particular fascination with multiple female siblings seen in the silent era's Pickfords, Gishes, Talmadges, Mason/Flugrath/Dana, Mersereau and Marshes, amongst others, in Classical Hollywood's Lanes and Fontaine/de Havilland and today's-- Fannings, Olsens and even Kardashians. As a sisterless child, I look on wistfully from afar at the idea of feminine closeness yet difference such stars offer, even as I recognize how these two were unique in their open mutual dislike of each other. Such hatred has always seemed incongruous coming from these gentle, delicate and even fragile figures, but perhaps that added to their appeal. Certainly anybody who survives into their 90s, reaches the height of stardom cannot be weak--images are, of course, notoriously deceptive and seductive.

Fontaine's beauty and delicacy--as a figure, performer and presence--embodied the apex of a certain Hollywood glamour. Astoundingly lovely, this amazing performer had her own unique screen presence that will never be forgotten. With her departure--as she wanted it, evidently, quietly, alone and in her sleep--we lose yet another tie to Classical Hollywood. Of the adult performers of the 1930s, I can only think of two--Luise Rainer and, of course, Olivia de Havilland--who are still with us. Fontaine's parting seems all the more threatening as it represents the end of this last great sister act and points to the inevitability that soon, all the major adult figures of the 1930s and 1940s will be gone. In my early teens I could still meet the very old stars of the silent era--figures like Lillian Gish who worked at Biograph, representing an era of Trust Companies and the one- and split-reel programme. The entire history of cinema was somehow still present within living memory but over the last two decades, those last survivors have gone, and with them the stars of the 1930s and 40s. Even the child stars like Baby Peggy are now in their 90s. Where I once stood in front of Lillian Gish as an adolescent, asking for her autograph, I last year stood in front of Baby Peggy and shook her hand--a child star who may now be the last link to the silent era and almost certainly is the last person alive who was captured on film in the 1910s.

So farewell Joan Fontaine. I always thought you were underrated as a star and as a beauty, not that that mattered to you then or now.

Finally

My second major milestone this year--and this was even longer in the making.

Progress?

I may be cursing myself and it may just be the a daily variation but today, I swear my clothes felt a little loose. I have a few signs that I could finally be losing some of the weight that gradually crept up on me over the last few years. I may not have put on much pregnancy weight but my body shape certainly shifted so clothes just don't fit as well. I've heard that breast feeding causes some weight to stick around. As Severin fast approaches his first birthday and enjoys other food, he is nursing less but still with vigour so it may be that the weaning process is beginning and, combined with my carb cutback, I'm getting back into shape. After all, this little boy enjoyed his Thanksgiving turkey and stuffing this year and is beginning to eat real solids as well as purees.

Of course, I may just have spoiled everything by eating a slice of Evan's mother's delicious lemon cake which I am sure contained 50+ grams of carbs. I vow that I will eliminate these late evening carb fests as hard as it may be. For my health, my baby boy and for the sake of any future children with whom I may be blessed.

Getting Adventurous

Severin's been crawling for a little over a month now and it looks like he'll be walking soon. Our little baby is becoming a toddler--he's going through one of those rapid stages of development where he gets more active, more dexterous, stronger and more fun each day.

At this point he's into everything. Favourite games include opening and shutting doors, climbing up against tables, our legs, book cases and drawers and pulling books off shelves, flicking through their pages and sometimes damaging them. He is more fun by the minute but I feel a little sad that my big beautiful boy is fast leaving babyhood behind. I am getting more and more broody by the day.

Getting Bigger

The nine month sleep regression is starting to abate and someone is busy crawling, babbling, standing against furniture, playing and pretending to read books. He's almost a toddler already and  it's only been 9.5 months. I can't believe how fast time goes--I am craving another already...