Taxes, Rain--and Lions

Yet again, spring eludes us in NYC. A mere two 70+ degree days this year and many more where I'm clutching my coats to my neck or cursing my stupidity in thinking I could go without a sweater, cardigan and some kind of tank top underwear. Today is no different--cold, wet, possibly dangerous winds and a threatening storm.

In addition, it's tax day. After a week with three defenses and paper proposal grading, I managed to get a cold, meaning that while I did get my taxes in today, my state return was nominally a day late. Alas, this was not going to be a year where I got much of a return. Despite buying a new computer (my old one was getting scarily unreliable which isn't good for an academic), traveling nationally and internationally for conferences and research and buying a lot of books and dvds for classroom and research use, I still ended up paying over $400 to the federal govt. I should get a little less than that back from the state but it reminds me to alter my allotments for next year. Had I received a refund big enough, I'd have considered getting the A Detacher Didions I tried on with Caroline on Wednesday in my brief period of (stolen) free time. But I wasn't going to blow all of a refund on one item and it looks like I'm not blowing any cash on anything any time soon now.

So, I have a cold, its wet, windy and chilly outside and I had to pay into my taxes. I'd rather have those three bundled together than deal with them individually so that's all just as well. No pilates or zumba for me today. Much of the day I've slumped around in my J. Crew pajamas.

Now it is time to shower, drink more tea and soon, head off to the Museum of the Moving Image to see Male and Female with Ashley, Ben and Brynn. Tigers ahoy! Then, hopefully, Sripraphai tonight. Nothing I love better than good spicy Thai food at the best of times, but when I have a cold, it's even more necessary.

More Owls

As some of you know, I have a soft spot for owls. Their big round eyes, tendency towards tawny coloring and little beak remind me of my dear little Peeps. I just saw these babies on the internet--abandoned and orphaned owlettes who are about to be released into the wild and couldn't resist sharing their tiny faces.

Even more surprising--or perhaps appropriate--they come from the RSPCA Wildlife Centre in East Winch, right by Mum, Dad, my brother and sister-in-law and where I went to village discos with my friends Sarah and Caroline back when I was 13-14.

Writing

I often think that teaching and writing are fundamentally incompatible skill sets--the former demands extrovert socialization with others, the latter demands hermiting and introspection. I can do both but the pressure to do them simultaneously often overwhelms. Not to mention all the real life things that both tend to push to the edge--be it going to the bank, post office, doctors, etc.

So I've been writing quite a bit recently--the panic about wasting my life and potential grabs me every year at this time as it is the end of the academic year. Alas, it's terrible timing as it's also the moment when teaching starts to accelerate into overdrive. I realize the solution is longer days, weeks and weekends, but that's impossible. My plans are to have this book proposal out by Wednesday, three articles out by the end of the academic year (with a fourth to follow in short measure in May) and to have the second book proposal finished by mid-June--along with the conference paper for Glasgow. If I didn't have to teach, I would do it but the yin-yang, back-forth of teaching and writing isn't always compatible with doing a great job with either.

Some Success

Today we've finally had spring-like weather. So far this year, NYC has had one 70 degree day--this time last year, we'd had 9 or 10 and just a year ago yesterday it was in the 90s (we had a 50 degree day). Thanks to NY1 for this information.

So, I decided to try out a few of my spring outfits. The first one was actually too much for the day--black Rag and Bone skinny pants (which seemed a little less skinny--hopefully that's a good sign), iris Mayle Alyosha blouse and black Angelika knit jacket with my high heeled RC ankle boots. So I changed into my Flavia skirt (which I adore), a red polka dot Lyell puffed sleeve blouse from SS 2006, brown cashmere J. Crew cardigan, blue Hansel from Basel ankle socks (why didn't I buy more at $2 a pair?) and my red t-strap No. 6 clogs. The best part about this outfit, aside from its comfort, is that the Lyell blouse didn't fit just a couple of months ago when Cindy was here. It was tight in the sleeves and the buttons pulled when I fastened it up. I love it and was so sad that I'd put on so much weight. I'm not saying I've lost a ton--there is a long way to go. But it is lovely to have this item back in rotation. It feels like shopping, only nicer!

I also returned my too tight size 8 JM dress to Gilt Groupe today and hope it arrives before the 21 day return period is over. It's such a shame it didn't work out--if I'd got the 10 or even the 12 I'd probably have worn it today. But the dress ran ridiculously small and by the time it had arrived, all sizes had sold out.

Cutting Back

I've noticed a theme in several of the blogs I read regularly--including mine--is the writer's efforts to cut back on clothes spending. I am sure some of this economizing has to do with the economy as well as the relatively uninspired affordable items on the market, by which I mean that some of the most beautiful items by the likes of Carven, Suno and Isabel Marant do not fit my budget. Sure I look at my favorite e-commerce sites (I've had little to no time to shop in person for what seems like years), but I've either been uninspired or discovered that items I want have stood out for others too and sold out immediately (like that Isabel Marant cardigan that I still couldn't really afford). I also feel that few things out there are as beautiful, inspiring and seemingly transformative as the pieces that have made me hold my breath in the past. This might be a function of aging (Heaven forbid!) or changing priorities, but I'm not so sure. The items that I've fallen for in the past--Mayle dresses, Surface to Air flats, Lyell coats, whatever--have grabbed me in an irrational way where I have felt this compulsion to own them.

Not that I'm complaining. Irrational consumption has led to a surfeit of items that work only at certain temperatures (generally a temperate warmth that now seems to elude NYC for 9-10 months of the year as we continue basking in winter in April). It has also led me to spend on dresses what many people spend on couches, computers, vacations, etc. As my income looks like it will be drastically reduced next year thanks to cutbacks in education spending (here I don't mean by the state but by the decision makers in Higher Ed who want to invest tuition dollars in overseas campuses not instruction), I can't do it. But then I also see the rails of clothing that fills our bedroom and know that each piece was beloved and may still be adored but if I don't wear what I have, those investments are wasted.

But I was bad last month--what with Lulu Frost for J. Crew bracelets going on sale (I bought them, don't ask how many), the Isabel Marant dress I bought on sale from Creatures of Comfort (it was lovely and 70 % off), the JM/Rachel Comey Gilt splurge. I could go on. I shouldn't. I won't.

So why did I do it? The lure of a bargain. The sense that these pieces were interesting and good investments. An irrational need and pleasure in the act of consumption. Plus I bought to alleviate stress, worry and concerns that made me think you can't take it with you. But (significantly I think) I find myself realizing that clothes don't matter that much as I sit in my friends' Sue and Tim's kitchen and talk to them while playing with their adorable children. Or when I'm watching movies, Sandra Lee clips and eating out with Evan, Ben, Brynn, Ashley, et al. I think that says a lot about the relationship between true contentment and the desires clothes instill in me. Of course, I'm not saying I don't still love clothing (I do and as I watch pre-Code movies I gasp at some of the pieces I see). I just don't have to buy everything I like and sometimes I can and should take a breather to enjoy what I have.

In sum, I'm redoubling my efforts not to slip again. And I will tell myself that when I find myself wondering if cheap clothing (Zara, H&M) will somehow fill some gap, or believing in their much altered promotional photos, and telling myself it won't count if I buy something. It will and hopefully I won't. And with some pride I can say I resisted some cashmere bargains at Club Monaco. Small steps maybe, but hopefully I can keep this up. The only things I really need are shoes for this interim period between the never-ending winter and summer. And that is a need, not a want.

Paul Krugman's Cats

I love Paul Krugman. He writes clearly about complex economic issues and his blog is a font of wisdom. If he ran the country, or the world for that matter, it would be a better place for everybody. Which is precisely why I think he would shun the task and carry on teaching Economics at Princeton and writing for the New York Times. Just when I thought I couldn't admire him more, I saw this on his blog:

Yes, he's a cat-owner! And long-haired kitties too! His cats are Doris Lessing (r) and Albert Einstein (ginger in the back).

Yesterday

I took the day off. Given that I wrote for eight hours after teaching and attending Ashley's fabulous MIAP thesis presentation on Friday, I thought I deserved it. I had already made plans in advance and wanted to make the best of this day, and I think I did. It was also a little warmer outside so it felt less like winter and more like a very early, slightly chilly, spring day.

I got up relatively early at 9.30 am, which took some discipline as I was writing until 1.30 am, and went to pilates and then Zumba (as usual). Then after going home and showering, my friend Ben came over for lunch. After walking 20+ blocks to Tacqueria Nixtamal, a place where they grind their own corn for their tamales, tacos and chips, and eating very well for $10 each, we walked off some of our lunch, came home, watched a couple of prize episodes of South Park and then headed back to Manhattan for more deliciousness in the shape of Doughnut Plant doughnuts (Vanilla bean for me, Pistachio for Ben). We then walked a few yards to the garden of a restaurant where we met Angela Landsbury and Robert Osborne. My friend Ashley had won a twitter competition to attend the meet and greet organized by TCM as part of their Road to Hollywood presentations of classic (and not so classic) movies introduced by one of their stars and Robert Osborne. So had our friends Brittan and Taso, who kindly added Ben and I as plus ones.

We then headed to the screening of The Manchurian Candidate at the SVA theater. Angela Lansbury was so lovely and easy to talk to--I was lucky enough to speak to her for about 10 minutes or longer about England, movies and her family (her lineage is illustrious--her grandfather was Labour Party leader George Lansbury, a major advocate of social justice). What a lovely, elegant, kind woman she is--still beautiful and trim at 85. She's also Oliver Postgate's cousin which makes me marvel at the talent, grace and accomplishments of that clan.

After a vegetarian burrito at Chipotle (memories of Cindy), I came home, watched The Ricky Gervais Show and fell asleep--tired and yet reinvigorated at the same time. Evan returned safely from Florida and all was well.